During our recent trip to Utah I overheard a conversation between my sweet 6 year old niece and her dad. He was telling her about a new family that had moved in to their area that had a daughter her age that went to the same school. Over the course of the conversation he encouraged her to befriend this little girl, saying things like “she’s new, she might not have any friends” and “wouldn’t it be nice if you were new and someone wanted to be your friend”. At the end of the conversation my niece agreed to look for this little girl at school the following day and attempt to reach out to her. What does this have to do with me? Well here’s the thing, my 6 year niece is willing to reach out and be friends, but for some reason I don’t have her same skill.
I wont say that I am socially awkward, because let’s face it, no one wants to admit that, but I will say that I am not great in new social situations or large groups of people that I don’t know well. It isn’t that I cant talk to people, but for some reason when not absolutely forced to be social I freeze up. At work I could talk with people, participate in meetings, and yes even on occasion (or nightly) participate in polite (and sometimes not so polite) dinner conversation. In college I also chatted with people and even hung out outside of class. And yes I had/have some friends who are not family members, classmates, or colleagues, but here in texas, without the rigid boundaries and forced social situation that both college and work provided I am a bit lost. We have been here almost 2 years and I have yet to make many good friends out here. I know this is entirely my own fault, I got busy with work, traveling (for work), and then having a baby, at no point did I stop and consider that at some future date I was going to have a lot more time on my hands and I might like to fill it with social interaction. So now I need to make friends and I am at a loss for how to do this. The logical place to make friends here is at church, there are lots of girls my age, they all have kids, husbands, etc, but I don’t know how to do it. It seems that everyone else already has their friends, I know it always seems this way when you are the odd person out, and I know I am being illogical- I am awesome of course people want to be my friend. Okay maybe that was a little bit overly confident and sarcastic, but all in all I am not a serial killer, I take showers, and on occasion I can have an intelligent conversation. So on to the next adventure… making friends, I feel like it’s the first day of college all over again. For those of you that recently moved, how did you make friends, any tips (besides losing the sarcastic comments, that yes even appear in blog)?
1 comment:
Oh, the joys. Seriously, the only thing that gave me hope when we moved...two years ago, was the fact that it took me nearly 4 years to feel settled in my last ward, start running with some ladies, and then they have become my dearest friends. I think simply finding someone or something in common with someone and acting on it, like inviting them over for lunch, sewing, etc. It will naturally happen. I have yet to have space or time since I've moved to find a friend here in this new ward...well Marci then she left. But now that Emily also moved and Marci, I was just having this same discussion with Jared, It's time for me to make a new friend! AHHH, I'm dreading it just like you!
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