drifting without a thesis and ee cummings

The show Lost is like an ee cummings poem to me. Both seem artistic, but I dont understand either one. In my opinion, Lost was written without a thesis- a unifying idea, something to prove, without the end in mind, but yet we continue to watch, get frustrated, and wonder how in the world they will resolve this ridiculous drama.

Brian is a fan of Lost, he loves the theories, the intrigue, and the guesswork, me I am a sitcom person, I like the shows that resolve themselves in 22 minutes, 40 minutes at max. I dont like shows with lingering questions, without resolutions, or that require you pay attention and sit down to watch. I watch TV the way most people listen to the radio- I listen, I dont watch, I listen while I cook, clean, grade papers, sew, do any number of things none of which allow me to look at the screen. Lost doesn't allow me to watch tv this way so I dont like it. Lost also requires that you remember what happened in the previous episode in order to grasp the concepts of the current episodes... this seems like learning not like watching tv, I would prefer not to be entertained in this way- plus how can i cook dinner (in multiple pots), wash the dishes, and listen to this show at the same time- cant, so I dont.

Mostly I watch Lost with Brian because he likes it, but I watch it a little bit because I need to know what happens. I hate surprises, I hate not knowing everything (christmas presents are torture), I keep thinking some day they will reveal something and I will understand... with 10 episodes left I dont think that is going to happen. This show was not written for people like me.

Anyway back to Lost, I know that some of the readers watch this show, or in some cases are married to people that like the show and dutifully sit back and watch, what do you think will happen next? Who is the man in black, and more importantly when are they ever going to answer questions instead of raising new ones.

little tree

ee cummings

little tree

little silent Christmas tree

you are so little

you are more like a flower


who found you in the green forest

and were you very sorry to come away?

see i will comfort you

because you smell so sweetly

Sometimes I run across something that makes me so happy we left New York, as is to be expected these little things also lead me to question why anyone would want to live in New York City. This summer I wondered this on a daily basis, between the rats (literally) and the apartments too small to breathe in, I found myself wondering why someone would give up so much (hygiene, personal space, normal prices) to live in a dirty and crowded city. Now that I have settled in to live in Texas, New York is starting to seem a bit more glamous again- there was the AMAZING food, the people from all over the world, and the subway that can take you anywhere, I would NEVER ever want to live there again but I think within the next 5 years or so I might be brave enough to go there for a day or two. OKay back to the things that make me question why people live in New York, over the past 2 weeks I have seen two newspaper articles that make me think, "this is why people should flee the city!". I saw one of these articles today- it was about an individual that bit his cab driver, yes like dracula- who does this? The second article appeared a week or so ago and was about a woman killed by a subway train, her bag fell onto the tracks and she jumped in to retrieve it. Just in case you have never been to New York and arent aware, the subway tracks arent clean, there is usually dirty water, wrappers, lost items, and yes rodents- why someone would jump in to retrieve something is beyond me. Sadly, the woman was killed while trying to retrieve her bag, her bag was later found to contain her cellphone and gym clothes- so sad that someone lost their life over that. Both instances made me think, really? To me these instances epitomize New York- strange people with priorities that differ from mine. I guess in a city of 8 million you are bound to get a few odd balls but still, i will take my small texas town for the time being and dream about the food in New York.

these little things also spark the question i wrestled with all summer, "why do people want to live in New York City"?

Saving myself $35.00

Do you ever see a really cute item and think... I bet I can make that for less. Well I think that a lot. I am not too crafty so most days that turns out to be false but every once in awhile it works out for some reason. Anyway I wanted to make a happy birthday banner so I started poking around online. I found some cute banners on etsy but as I looked at them I thought, "really $40 for that?" So I decided to try my hand at it. Somewhere along the way I gave up on the birthday banner idea and came up with a seasonal theme (okay I only did one but still!). I am happy to report that after $5 and 45 minutes I ended up with this banner. Maybe not as cute as some of the ones I saw online but hey I am learning, just think how good I'll be by the time I get to fall and winter! Just an FYI in case you want to make one you need about 1/8 yard of each fabric- I got 1/2 yard and I have a TON left! Some lucky person is going to be getting one soon... havent decided who you are yet but what in the world am I going to do with 3 "spring" banners... nothing so someone else gets one!

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

Today is Brian's 26th birthday! Happy Birthday Bri! What did he do to celebrate? Well nothing... he went to work, turns out birthdays are less exciting when you are 26 and married.

Anyway we did have a fantastic dinner (inspired by Grandma and Grandpa Suker) last night to celebrate the momentous event!

Lunch for today... didnt end up eating it but tomorrow it should be... reheated.

Birthday dinner, filet mignon, sauteed zucchini, whipped potatoes.
Do you see how big these are? Seriously way to go Costco!
Birthday cake.. or cupcake(s)
Birthday cupcakes. The green ones are a variation on Jacqui's chocolate mint sandwich cookies- chocolate mint cupcakes- Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy Birthday Bri!

A realization...

Recently I have made 2 fatal errors- on two occasions while at the grocery store I accidently purchased “salad dressing” instead of mayonnaise. I know some of you are thinking, “how do you mistake miracle whip for mayo?” well it’s easy when you buy the store brand and you want to leave the mayo aisle as quickly as possible because just buying that stuff gives you the creeps (seriously it IS fat in a jar!). Anyway so over the last month in my haste to quickly leave that aisle I ended up with two jars of “salad dressing”. Brian is the one in our house that uses mayonnaise and has on multiple occasions informed me that “salad dressing” is disgusting and that he will NOT be eating it. So the other morning I found myself with two unopened jars of salad dressing and no mayo- okay to be fair that is what Brian found himself with, I just happened to be in the room. After he discovered this little issue I had a brainwave- what if I return the wrong stuff and buy the right stuff. When I suggested this to Brian he looked at me like I was insane- return mayo, who does that? I figured since I had purchased the fat in a jar from Walmart that I might be able to return it. The $3 wasn’t a big deal, it was just the principle of the thing- I didn’t want to throw it away but I would NOT be eating it, and I needed the other stuff. I packed the mistakes up into my car and we headed to wally world. I went to customer service and explained my predicament to the sales associate who kindly agreed to exchange the wrong stuff for the right stuff. Brian was so embarrassed he wouldn’t even come to customer service with me. Anyway I exchanged the salad dressing for the mayo as I was leaving I though “now I have officially become white trash”. Looking back I am wondering why I spent so much time and effort thinking about mayo and salad dressing- I don’t even eat the stuff! What can we learn from this? In the future if you ever find yourself needing to exchange miracle whip (or salad dressing as the gv brand calls it) for mayo it is possible, and the cashier probably wont even laugh at you (even though they should).

I know have 2 jars of mayo on my shelf- life is good!

I have to ask what is the difference between miracle whip and mayo? Is there a difference, they both make a gross sound when you try to get them out of the jar/squeeze bottle so I wont EVER be eating them but I would like to know if there is a difference.

My Everest

I have spent the last few months working on a project I can only describe as my "Everest". Like the real Everest this project stretched my abilities to the max, and like many of the people that attempt climb the real Everest I didnt always measure up. I was quite sure many times along the way that I wasnt going to make it and that I might as well throw in the towel because my efforts were never going to result in success. I was a bit dramatic along the way- poor Brian, and there were many moments where I had flashbacks to 7th grade gym class (you know the whole not measuring up thing), but I did it! Assuming the USPS doesnt fail me and everything goes according to plan on April 24th I will be a "Master of Public Health", go public health! Thank you to everyone who helped me- thank you Dr. T for not letting me give up even though I wanted to on more than one occasion, thank you Stephanie for proof reading, Thank you MaryAnne, Brad, Camille, Brea, Alisha, and Pete (and the rest of the cohort) for g chatting me through this, thanks to my family for listening to me yell at you because I was stressed, and thank you Brian for everything. We are done, Congratulations to everyone!!!!!!!!!

Blue Bell Ice Cream: A Delicious Frozen Treat Worth Visiting Texas For!

I really like ice cream. I am not a big fan of "baked goods" but ice cream is my dessert of choice (that and candy- I love candy). Coldstone is among my favorite places to eat- I havent looked them up in Dallas on purpose, sweet cream ice cream with pie cherries solves most of my problems.

I have been a fan of ice cream since childhood- well let's be real who hasnt been, let me rephrase, I have been a big fan since childhood. Growing up Breyers and Dryers were my favorites, I was a sucker for the vanilla bean with the black flecks. Over time my brand of choice changed- at BYU I was a fan of BYU ice cream of course, in New York I was a fan of Hagan Daaz, and all along the way Ben and Jerry's has had a special place in my heart. All of this has changed- I have found something that makes me forget all other ice cream- Blue Bell.

Before I can tell you about how wonderful Blue Bell is I have to explain something about texans- texans are fiercely loyal to everything from texas. Remember those old pace picante sauce commercial with the salsa from New York City, remember how mad those cowboys were when they found out that the salsa wasnt actually made in the southwest, that is pretty much how texans react when you try to feed them something from out of state when a texas equivalent is available. Anyway Blue Bell is made is Texas, specifically in Brenham, Texas. I learned the hard way about this ice cream the first time we were in Texas. I brought another brand of ice cream to a family event and was quickly informed that in "texas we eat Blue Bell", so when we moved back I decided to give Blue Bell a shot, to be fair the ice cream was on sale (88 cents a pint!) so I bought a few... dozen and gave it a try. After just a few bites I understood why Texans love Blue Bell!

Imagine your favorite ice cream and then step it up a notch or 5,000. This is better than chubby hubby, better than phish food, better than vanilla bean, and pralines and cream- better than any other brand. I have tried almost all of the flavors (there arent a ton, and you did read about the sale) and havent found one I dont like. They make the best vanilla ice cream I have ever had (vanilla is my favorite flavor, yes I am boring), amazing chocolate ice cream (dutch chocolate to be exact), and a fantastic flavor called southern blackberry cobbler- which is worth heading down to Texas for*. I read that President Bush often had the ice cream shipped in to Camp David and that the ice cream was sent to space to help out the astronauts "happiness quotient"- this stuff is amazing- where have you been all my life!

Seriously if you are ever somewhere where Blue Bell is available you need to try a scoop or two.

*according to Wikipedia Blue Bell is actually available in 17 states- the majority of which are located in the "American South".

2 BYU Grads + 2 Bags Manure + 4 Bags Garden Soil=1 small garden plot,

oday marked the beginning of our adventures in gardening. For the last month or so we have spent a lot of time strolling the garden aisles at Home Depot and Walmart. We started some seed plants in our house (which I may have accidently killed yesterday), but nothing too serious. Today we decided to put in a raised garden bed. It looks pretty fun! We learned a few things from this adventure- 1. starting a garden is expensive, 2. 4x4 is actually pretty little and one bed will likley turn into 2 in the next week or so. Wish us luck on our future adventures, we have... no experience with gardening so this is going to be interesting.

Plants that we are attempting to start indoors.

garden bed up close!
looking out from the back door. it turns out 4x4 is smaller than we thought, maybe our yard is just bigger than we originally thought, either way i think we need another one.

For Camille and MaryAnne

Camille and MaryAnne, here is the recipe I promised you, sorry it is so LATE! You can also find it on page 428 of the red atk bible

This meal is "flavorful" to say the least. If you are into cafe rio sweet pork this isnt going to be something you like... it is a bit adventurous. Just a word of caution... this is an atk recipe, so deviateing from the directions isnt a great idea.

SLOW COOKER PORK LOIN WITH SWEET POTATOES, ORANGE, AND CILANTRO

1 (4-5lb) pork loin (you can use whatever size you have, for smaller ones cook less time)

salt and pepper

4 t. olive oil

2 onions, halved, sliced thin

3 jalapeno chiles, minced (if you dont like spicy food reduce this)

1 T cumin

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes

1 c chicken broth

1 c orange juice

1 (6 inch) strip orange zest

2 chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, chopped

1 t. dried oregano

1 1/2 lbs sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch chunks

1/4 c. minced fresh cilantro (no maryanne you do not HAVE to include this)

cilantro sour cream

1 c. sour cream

2 T minced fresh cilantro (not optional)

1 T fresh lime juice

1. dry the roast with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper. Heat 2 t. oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium high heat until just smoking. brown the roast on ALL sides, reducing the heat if the fat begins to smoke, abut 10 minutes. Add to slow cooker

2. add the remaining oil to the skillet and heat over medium heat until shimmering. add the onions, jalapenos, cumin, and 1/4 t. salt. cook until the onions are soft, about 5 min. stir in the garlic, and cook for 15 seconds (DO NOT BURN THE GARLIC). Stir in the tomatoes with their juice, scraping up any browned bits. Bring to a simmer, then pour into slow cooker

3. add the broth, orange juice and zest, chipotles, and oregano to slow cooker. Nestle sweet potatoes into slow cooker. Cover and cook on low until the pork is tender and has an internal temp of 165 (5-6 hours).

4. Transfer the pork to a carving board and tent with foil. let cooking liquid settle for 5 minutes, then skim fat (you can speed this up by adding ice cubes). Discard the orange zest. Puree cooking liquid and veggies (potatoes) until smooth. Stir in cilantro and season with salt to taste.

5. mix all of the ingredients for the cilantro sour cream together and season with salt.

*we serve this on a bed of jasmine rice (not regular rice, jasmine, once you try it you cant go back).

Good luck!

Dusting off the soapbox... 19 years of school and still no answers

By now most of you know that I am a bit feisty, well maybe that isnt the right word, let's try "passionate". There are some topics that just get me going, one of those is the education of women. Before we head down that path I need to tell you a short story. On sunday Brian and I spoke in church, the youth speaker (that went minutes before I did) spoke on the importance of education. I was so impressed with her talk, she was probably 16, maybe 17, and she discussed the reasons why education is important both to our temporal and spiritual well being. As is to be expected from someone that just spent (and is currently spending) a bit of time in school education is a passion of mine. I think everyone should get as much education as possible, and I am always sad when i hear that for whatever reason someone has chosen not to do that. I understand that there are reasons some people may not choose to go forward in school, I understand that not everyone needs to, and that part of the reason my degree is valuable is that I have a skill that not everyone has. With all that understood it still bothers me when people dont take education seriously. Okay let's reroute back to the story, so the girl gave her fantastic talk, we went to sunday school (where i continued to drill the subject into my classes head) and then on to Relief Society. The subject of the talk came up during that hour and I was so sad to hear that so many women disagreed with the premise of this young lady's talk. They didnt feel education was especially important, and some even felt that it was a "waste" to educate women when many will end up as wives and mothers. I should say that the majority of the women did not agree that educating women was a waste, but enough did (well to be fair one would have probably been enough for me) that this discussion angered me. It angered me that somehow being well educated and a good wife and mother are mutually exclusive. It angered me that so many saw women that had gotten their education as "unfocused", "selfish", and "masculine". Why do people still think this way, why will I be less of a wife and mother because I have a degree? Why is there the implication that I am not fulfilling my divine role, that somehow I am not fitting into my place in the world because I valued education? I understand that I am overly sensitive to this topic because sometimes I take these comments more as personal attacks rather than general sweeping comments but still I want to know. What is it about educated women that makes them unfit? What is it that is so threatening? As mentioned before so many of my good friends and mentors are well educated women. They are all talented, and many embrace traditionally female roles, including wife and mother. They all excel in pretty much every aspect of their lives (it is a little sickening to be surrounded by so many awesome women) and the vast majority believe that their education has enabled them to better fill their roles, aid others, and serve in the church. With so many women doing so much, why are we still threatened by educated women? Why do so many continue to undervalue the importance of educating women, and continue to judge those that choose to pursue education? Why?

NPR makes me chuckle

NPR makes me chuckle. Sometimes I can only handle so much Glenn Beck, and to be honest I can never handle the rest of the conservative talk radio show hosts, so I flip the station to NPR. I should tell you that I was raised on NPR. Some people listened to hard rock, rap, and sports radio, I listened to "Morning Edition", "This American Life", "All Things Considered", and "Fresh Air". There is something refreshing about starting your day with a health dose of Renee Montagne and Steve Insky, and something almost nostaligic about a saturday afternoon filled with the Prairie Home Companion and Ira Glass. I realize that I am one of the few dedicated NPR followers, and that for most people the station is boring, snotty, and often ignored. The format doesnt appeal to everyone, sometimes major news stories, followed by current updates on the local art scene, intemingled with some jazz isnt what you are hoping for in traffic, but for me it is calming, almost like being home in California. I love the subtle way that NPR reporters exert their superiority over other radio talk show hosts, its like somehow because they are able to discuss important matters, like for example the current Supreme Court case focused on the Chicago handgun ban, with the same degree of enthusiasm as less important matters, for example manure tea, they are somehow more trustworthy and knowledgeable. I realize that I have been brainwashed by NPR, maybe there are subliminal messages in the jazz music, but whatever they do I love them. I love the human interests pieces intermingled with international politics, I love the sound clips, and very calm voice that comes on the warn you that traffic is gridlocked. I love the lack of yelling, NPR reporters dont yell, they speak in soothing tones, they are passionate without raising their voices, and somehow that makes me like them. Rarely do I hear anything "funny" on NPR, but most days I learn something, and to be honest that is what I want from my radio station, a bit of learning mixed in with some culture. Oh NPR what would my childhood have been like without you?