Making Peace with Change...

Yesterday I was able to participate in some "mandatory cohort bonding", and let me just say it was SO refreshing. I know me saying that makes me sound... pathetic. I have lived in texas for almost 2 months and have yet to make friends... so lame. I have to admit I am not an outgoing person. I hate making new friends, fitting in to new situations, just trying to have a social life, I absolutely hate it! I like living my comfy life, I like having good friends that you can discuss a myriad of topics with- you know everything from "women's health issues" to fashion (haha or lack of fashion in some of our cases). I like having friends that read for fun, love FRIENDS and can pretty much recite episodes, and know what NPR is. I love having friends that appreciate the value of costa vida or cafe rio, that know what downeast is, and that are just starting in their lives as well. I miss the daily interactions with my peers, with people born the same decade I was, who dont look at me and judge my ability to be their friend by the clothes I wear, my husband's occupation, or by my age. I miss being able to just hang out without worrying if I put on my makeup, if my clothes match, or if I am going to say something offensive (because seriously that is an hourly occurrence for me). I miss little things like hanging out with Kurtis and Megan on a friday night, or wasting time between classes in the lab trying to decide if a trip to Wendy's was imperative to my survival (and yes it usually was). Basically I miss you all and think that you should all come to Dallas at least for a vacation (I know texas and vacation dont go together but we do have a pool... so that is fun (ish)).

I hate starting over in a new place. Last night a few of us talked about how starting over... sucks. It does, sadly there is no better way to describe it. It was oh so nice (sorry guys) to learn that I wasnt the only one that took a while to settle in, I wasnt the only one that felt awkward and uncomfortable in these new situations, and I wasnt the only one that dreaded it. Unfortunately for me, I am the only one currently in Dallas, but it did give me hope that "some day this too shall pass". Someday I will look back at those awkward first few months in dallas and laugh at how ridiculous I was. Now I look back at those first few days at BYU as a freshman and laugh at how lame I was, and look back at those first few weeks in grad school and laugh about how frightened I was that I wouldnt make friends. Anyway, the point of this oh so long rambling post is that I am grateful to have gotten to have a dose of life with friends this weekend. Dont get me wrong I love life in texas, I love where we live, living with Brian again, our house, and the endless possibilities and opportunities waiting for us there, but there is a part of me that misses all of you (both friends and family) that we left behind in Utah, and yes there is a little part of me that aches for the days of Wymount, the West Wing, trips to AF on friday night to visit the Fords, family dinners on Sunday, being the women's health ta (a job which I truely loved) and just our former life in general. As with any change, time will make things easier and right now I am just in the in between stage where things are a little bit less fun...