Things you learn after 3 (we're rounding up) years...

First I need to preface why I am even writing about things I have learned after 3 years, 2 reasons. One, I teach marriage prep in our ward... yes that's right you all wish you could go to my class, and second, Brian's birthday is this week so there are going to be a lot of posts related to things I have learned while knowing him, I think birthdays should be a time to celebrate the person's influence in your life so just a heads up (one time a year you can deal with some slightly mushy posts). 

Things I have learned... 

1. doing the dishes immediately after eating is only important to me. 

I grew up doing this, I am not sure if Brian did, but I am positive he did not grow up with "the list" (since this was just a crazy thing my dad had), so this has been a topic of much discussion in our house- just an FYI he does do the dishes without being asked most nights even though he would rather.... not. 

2. Friends matter (both the show and the people). 

I have to include the show because in our family we watch a lot of this sinful show, it just makes everything better, really you should try it. But that isnt what this is about, we talked about this in marriage prep today, friends matter, it is nice to have people to talk to that dont share your same last name, they help put things in perspective, and provide you with lots of learning experiences. 

3. food preferences dont always change. 

Brian and I grew up with really different diets if you will. Let me explain, I think my parents are great cooks, they are all about fresh ingredients, making things from scratch, casserole is a dirty word  (unless it is lasagna or enchiladas which dont really count), things from a can (unless it is spinach or chili) are not "acceptable" forms of nutrition, and including all of the colors of the rainbow on one plate is essential (maybe this part is just my dad). From what Brian has said (and his food preferences) things were a little different in his house growing up (which is fine). Over the last 3 years we have tried to compromise, I still dont like boneless skinless chicken breasts, and the only casseroles I cook are baked ziti (not really a casserole), homemade mac and cheese (also not a casserole), and lasagna (still not a casserole), and Brian still isnt a big believer in salad. We have come to several compromises recently- 1 yams/sweet potatoes are good side dishes (if they are baked like potatoes and eaten plain), and 2 asparagus is a veggie we both really enjoy and eat without complaint- good thing it has been on sale, so yay for us!

4. Sleep is important.

When we were engaged we didnt get this, when we were first married we didnt get it either- now we get it. I have heard people say not to go to bed angry, these people havent met brian or i, we need to "sleep it off" if you will. 

5. it's okay not to talk. 

We talked about this in marriage prep today, when we were first married it seemed like something was wrong if there was ever silence, considering that right now there is silence in our apartment I think we have moved beyond that stage- we both talk a lot, no worries it isnt like our house is always silent

6. Sometimes the other person is just annoying. 

I love brian, and I am sure he loves me too, but some things are just annoying, like whistling, or this trumpet sound that makes me want to strangle someone. I am sure I do annoying things as well, but I dont typically annoy myself so I cant give you an example. 

7. things are happier when the house is clean. 

This doesnt need any explanation, we are not animals, our house doesnt need to look like a trash pit (although since it is so small it takes about 5 seconds to look that way).

8. all engaged couples should have one bout of the stomach flu before tying the knot. 

I learned this over 3 years ago but I think it is worth mentioning. Let me tell you the story. One night when we were engaged Brian and I made dinner at his apartment. We had tortillinis and something else that I dont remember now. We decided to go watch a movie and after awhile I started to feel... queasy. I thought it would go away, but obviously it didnt or i wouldnt be talking about it 3 years later. I ended up running for the door to go throw up outside, Brian got in my way and I threw up all over him. It was beyond disgusting, I would have broken up with me- I think he had to buy new shoes. I think it is important to see the other person at their... worst, otherwise you are going to see it at some point in the future and it might be shocking and frightening. The same goes for makeup, sometimes it is nice to know what the other person looks like before they get ready for their day  (FYI brian does NOT wear makeup)

9. families are... interesting. 

I am going to be careful what I say here, since my readers are mostly all family members. Families are great, I love both of our families, but families create interesting... issues... and conversations. you all know what I am talking about, think about the first thing that popped into your heads, yes that is what I am referring to. 

10. it's okay to be different. 

When we were dating I have to admit I was a lot more interested in some of the things Brian is in to, like accounting, conservative talk radio (please gag me), and video games. Now I am not so much, I listen, but some things I just couldnt care less about, like Glenn Beck for example (yelling does not add credibility, neither does crying about stupid stuff, sorry). At first I thought I was just a mean person (which I probably am) and that I needed to conform and care about these things, but now I realize that these differences, make us exciting, give us stuff to talk about, and really who wants to marry/date/speak to their clone?

Thanks Bri! Good thing I like learning, right?