What happened to childhood?

What happened to kids playing with Barbies, GI Joes, jump ropes, hula hoops, and Tinker Toys? I know this makes me seem old, but I remember the days of Trolls, Lincoln Logs, Barbie, Stretch Armstrong, Kinex, and legos. I remember hours spent outside jumping on the trampoline, playing in the sprinklers, and pretending the backyard swing set was a fort. I remember long hours spent playing house with my siblings, and serving “tea” on bright plastic dishes, pushing dolls in strollers, putting together 300 piece Disney puzzles, and playing Clue. What happened to those days?

Today, Brian and I went to the closing performance at the camp he has been working at this summer, as I watched the kids I wondered what happened to childhood? Why are 9 and 10 year olds talking about sex and drugs, why are they wearing makeup, swearing, and doing what I can only describe as inappropriate dances? Maybe I am sheltered after a childhood spent in “Pleasantville” and the last five years spent in “happy valley”, or maybe childhood today is different from what it was 15 years ago. The kids I saw today live in circumstances I cant even begin to imagine, they have been through more in 9 or 10 years than I have in 23, and this difference was very apparent. The innocence and curiosity I associate with children was missing, instead they seemed like miniature adults, they gave off the impression that they already believed the world is a cruel place. As I saw these kids all I could think was what happened to childhood? Granted, having a 35 year old grandmother may be a large part of the problem, growing up in a neighborhood where over 30% of the population makes less than $10,000 a year may be another problem, and believing that a Prada bag will improve your position in life may be yet  another issue, but still what has happened to childhood? Where will these kids be in 5 or even 10 years? If they follow the same trends as their parents, many will be in prison, on government assistance, addicted to drugs, or pregnant before their 18^th birthday (or so the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene predicts). Why in America, the land of opportunity, do so many children have such a bleak future?  Why are these children forced to grow up before others, and what can we do to solve this problem? I would argue that throwing  more money at the problem isn’t the solution, that instead providing parents with the necessary tools to effectively teach and interact with their children would be a better use of time and resources. I would argue that providing these kids with positive role models (not rappers, actors, and sports stars) would go a long way in solving the problem, I would even argue that teaching these kids that there is life outside Brooklyn, outside New York City even, would go a long way in improving their attitude, and their outlook on life, but I admit I don’t have a solution to the problem, only questions about how this happened. Right now many of these children live in poverty, their parents were born into poverty, their grandparents were born into poverty, and they see themselves remaining in poverty for their entire lives, why in the land of opportunity is that okay?

In addition to noticing the difference between these children and other children I have know, I noticed a difference in these parents and the ones I remember from my own childhood. Many of the parents were my age or younger, and seemed incredibly aggravated with their children. I understand it was hot (seriously like 95 inside), and dinner time, the kids were a little out of control, many of the parents had just gotten off work, and that a summer camp performance might not be the most thrilling way to spend a Thursday night but many of the parents seemed irritated, annoyed, and generally bothered about having to interact with their children. This made me incredibly sad, I thought about all the couples I know that have children, or are trying to have children. I can think of several couples in particular that have either recently had a baby or will have one soon, these couples thought the child was a miracle, every kick, smile, and giggle was awe inspiring to them, they felt blessed, grateful, and incredibly lucky to be the parents of that child. Sure there are days when they want the screaming to stop, sometimes the temper tantrums aren’t quite as cute, and yes sometimes tempers flare, but I think in general they are grateful for that child and for their experience as a parent. But the parents we saw tonight seemed more interested in getting their nails done and texting a friend on their cell phone than taking care of their child…maybe I don’t wonder where childhood has gone….