"Peace and love, that's all I'm thinking of, peace and love..."

I have often wondered if birth order makes a difference in interpersonal relationships. These last two weeks we had the privilege of having 2 fantastic house guests (we were sad to see them leave), but the more time we spent with them the more I wondered if my experience as their older sister affects more than just my relationship with them.

Brian and are very different in terms of birth order. I am the oldest, the practice child, the control freak, and Brian is the second youngest, one of the “little kids”.  I like to be in control of the situation, I like to know what everyone is doing, and inform them if they are doing it wrong. I’m not sure why, maybe I am just nosy, but I think it has something to do with being the oldest. As the oldest your are put in charge of the “little kids” early on, you are the babysitter, the one that provides lunch money when they forget and can’t get in touch with mom, the driver (or the one who’s friends drive), you are the first to walk, talk, go to school, and to move out. You are the one that fights with your parents about a later curfew, the one that goes on the first date in the family, and the first one to graduate from college. All of these things are fantastic, but sometimes being the oldest isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You are the first one to get in trouble when something goes wrong, the one who should have known better, and the one to provide insight on your siblings actions. You are the example to your siblings even when it might be more fun to not to be.

I think being the oldest turns people into control freaks, there is something about knowing that your brother’s C in math is going to be your problem that brings out that side in people. I wonder if this bleeds into other areas of my life, I am sure it does. It’s probably true that I would be on the controlling side even if I was the youngest (cough em cough), but I think being the oldest just exacerbated that lovely personality trait. So now I micromanage everyone- I make sure Brian has his keys, wallet, and phone everyday before we leave the house (even though he is 25 and has a masters degree), I remind him to eat his veggies, tell him that he has watched enough TV for one day and should do something else, and question him about when he is going to be home to no end. The logical part of my brain tells me he can handle life on his own, he can get from point A to point B without my constant reminders, he can pay his bills without my nagging, and somehow he managed to get good grades and into college long before we met. Somehow it never occurs to me that he functions professionally without me… instead I continue to channel all of my oldest child skills into micromanaging him, maybe someday these skills will be put to better use. 

*the title is taken from the first non country song i have used as a title- yay!