Playing House

I hate transition and I hate change, maybe that is why I don’t enjoy summer vacation.  Brian and I have spent the last few months, and even the last year discussing what life will be like “in the future”, for us the future refers to life after graduate school, life after provo, life after NY (thank goodness for that one), life after exams, life after paying tuition (who thought that would end), and life after low paying or no paying jobs. We are months away from that transition, Brian starts his first real job in 2 months from today, by then we will be moved (well by we I mean brian and our stuff) to Dallas, we will be away from NYC, we will have good dental, health and vision insurance, and we will be making actual money, these are all of the things that we (and by we I mean Brian) have been working towards for so long and now they are finally within reach. I feel like I should be excited, bt I’m not. It’s not that I am not happy that all of our (and by our I do mean Brian) hard work is finally paying off, I think it just hasn’t set in yet. It hasn’t set in that our carefree days in Provo are over (not that they were ever really that carefree we are a little uptight), it hasn’t set in that in January I wont be counting pennies to pay tuition, it hasn’t set in that we are getting a house,  and it really hasn’t set in that we are getting a washer, dryer, and dishwasher.  None of that has set in yet. Right now is seems like we are playing a really expensive version of “house”, you know one where everything is sorta real but not really and in the end everything goes back to normal. It feels like after we leave NYC we will head back to provo, go back to school, wash our dishes by hand, and haul our laundry in the snow, it doesn’t feel like it is time for us to be grown ups, mow our lawn, and clean our house (not apartment, house). It looks like September is going to make my head spin.