"I'm really starting to like Dad"

I heard a story during fast and testimony meeting today, and had to write it down, some of the details will be off, but the gist should be same. A brother in our ward shared an experience he had with two of his children. The family recently purchased a car that they planned to restore together, one day as the father was in the garage removing the paint with his children, he overheard a conversation between them. The older child asked the younger if she was starting to really like cars, to which she responded, “No, I’m really starting to like Dad.” The brother then went on to say that his children aren’t going to “learn to like” him  or come to together as a family more as they spend time with him as he watches TV or surfs the internet, but that through “doing” they can draw closer together.

I loved the quote from the sweet little daughter, “No, I’m really starting to like Dad.” 

I reflected on her sweet quote throughout the remainder of the meeting (Brian was so generous and took on the challenge of containing Michael), my first thoughts were my own childhood, what did I remember, and how did we draw closer as a family, through “doing” as the brother in my ward said. We were a “hands on” family, at least during the part that I remember. We were all expected to help around the house and participate in family dinner, retreating to your room or your own activities during these times was not an option. We were also expected to participate in the various construction projects that marked our childhood. We helped demolish walls, haul rubble, and any number of other assignments from bringing drinks to helping on the roof (although I think this one was more my brothers). I spent one very hot Saturday in the attic with my dad putting a plywood floor down, while this was not the most enjoyable activity, every time I go into the attic at my parents (which is surprisingly often) I am reminded of that day. Somewhere along the way I heard a quote that said something along the lines of the family that works together plays together. We did that, at least I think we did. Some nights cleaning the kitchen after dinner was less of a chore and more of a time spent together enjoying each other’s company and disco Saturday nights or love songs on the coast with Delilah.

As I spent the past 3 weeks with my family, the message that we grow closer by “doing” was pounded in, even though we are all older we still bring up the activities we did together- Chex Quest, rowing the boat up the inlet, “Surfin USA”, and the numerous demolition projects. We commiserate- “do you remember when Dad made us do….”, or “Can you believe mom made us…”, between these shared experiences and our horrible matching teeth, we have bonded and developed relationships that have lasted into adulthood, what a great consequence of these less than fun activities! So the challenge now is to give Michael similar opportunities. While I highly doubt Brian is going to knock down a wall in our house and require Michael to help, I am sure they will be some shared experiences that bring us together.