Service

These past few weeks have strengthened my testimony of service. Service is one of those things that I am happy to participate in but not always willing to accept. At heart I am a control freak, I feel like I should be able to handle everything, accepting that I can’t or don’t have to is tough for me. Since Mikey was born I have had to accept that not only do I not need to do everything, but at this point it isn’t possible. My mom and sister stayed with us right after Mikey was born. They were so nice to do our dishes, laundry, vacuum and cook us some delicious meals, but instead of resting and accepting that that was why they were there, and that they were happy to help out I just worried about it. I thought that since I was out of the hospital I should be able to be up and about taking care of myself. I spent the first few weeks just feeling guilty that anyone was helping us. Then a couple of weeks ago more family came into town for Michael’s blessing. Just a few days before people started coming into town both Brian and I came down with what I am going to refer to as the “plague of 2011”. We were cesspools of infection, snotty noses, coughing, sore throats, no voice, achy, etc, really I felt bad for the people staying with us. Despite turning into human petri dishes we still had people coming, and people to “entertain” on Sunday after the blessing. I had planned to get everything together to feed people, but in the end with stress of being a new mom, not sleeping, and oh did I mention the plague, I couldn’t get it all together, but my sweet sister in law and mom stepped in and helped. While I hated that I couldn’t do it, it was so comforting to know that they had it under control.

Having family lend a hand was one thing, but letting other people help out has been another. Let me explain, I am not so good at letting people outside my immediate family know when I need help, I am just one of those lame people. Before Mikey was born the Relief Society in my ward asked if they could provide meals. I refused, my mom and Em were coming after all, with them there we were set for meals, and if worse came to worse we could always order a pizza. But the Relief Society kept calling, I tried to come up with every excuse, but they were persistent. In the end we planned for them to bring meals after my mom left. I felt so guilty about this, by that point my baby would be a month old, and if I didn’t have this “mom” thing down at least a little bit I was pretty sure I was never going to get it. The day arrived, and I was so sick, remember how we were sick for the blessing, well the meals were scheduled to start right after that, suffice it to say that by the time people went home I wasn’t better, I was worse, and yes Mikey was coming down with it too. I have to say the meals were a relief, while I had initially been resistant to the idea because yes I can cook for myself, and even if I couldn’t we have had cereal for dinner before (not sicne we have been married but that is how we got through the first two years of college) in the end it was wonderful! Yes, I did still feel awful that these sweet sisters in my ward were taking the time not only to make dinner but bring it to us, it helped so much! Not worrying about cooking, shopping, or cleaning up gave me time to enjoy my cute baby, recover from the plague, and yes even take a nap (or two). While accepting the service was hard, it was worth it, and I think it has helped me to see that sometimes it’s okay to let go a little bit and let someone lend a hand. Thank you Relief Society!