Blood is shooting out of my eyes

I have never been as angry with someone as I have been these last few days. Every time I think about this person or the situation I want to scream. I can literally feel my blood pressure rise as I think about it, I can feel myself breathing heavily, my stress hormones increasing, and blood shooting out of my eyes. This makes me angrier than seeing people on welfare with $1500 handbags and $500 jeans. This makes me angrier than when I failed my drivers test (that is another story). This makes me angrier than when I fell on Randy and Danette’s driveway and smashed my cake and got glass embedded in my right arm, leg, and hand the night before finals (I was angry because I knew I would fall but didn’t do anything about it). This even makes me angrier than when I think about how it is the middle of September and the foundation hasn’t been poured for our house (more about that fiasco later).  As I have sat and stewed about this issue these last few days I have come to understand why I am so upset. I am angry for the following reasons:

1.     I am angry about how the situation was handled- or not handled. I am upset that the people involved didn’t have the courage to own up to their decision, or to take the 12 seconds it would have taken to inform family members in person about their decision. To be fair my anger is directed at one person not two, because I think one of them should have had more respect for their family. 

 

2.     I am upset by the pure selfishness of the situation. I understand that we all have our agency, and that we are all entitled to make our own decisions. I understand that we each have the opportunity to receive personal revelation, and that guidance helps direct our lives. While I understand all of those points, I am still angry when people fail to understand how their actions affect those around them. Sure we don’t have to live with the situation in the same way that this person does, but that decision, and the way it was carried out will have long-term ramifications for everyone.

 

3.     I am saddened and annoyed by the way family has ignored for the sake of friends, and personal satisfaction. I understand that family cannot always come first, I understand that as we get older and move on with our lives our own families and futures may at times take precedence over or original family, however until that happens, I think it is irresponsible and disrespectful not to consult your family, not to spend time with them, and to make snide comments about family members because they disagree with you and your decisions.  I also understand that family members often tell you things you don’t want to hear and that in some situations avoiding them is the easiest option- suck it up and deal with it.

 

After “processing” this anger I have come the following conclusions:

 

1.     If you are old enough to make that type of decision you are old enough to deal with the consequences associated with it.  That includes dealing with other people’s opinions in a mature way.

2.     If you are that disrespectful of your family you do not deserve their respect or support, and you should neither expect or demand it

 

3.     Living on love is not a viable option for anyone. Realistic plans are a must life at home is peachy, cheap, and easy. You cannot make long-term life altering decisions without first living on your own (completely financially independent- missions do NOT count); anyone that thinks they can is naïve and kidding themselves.

 

4.     If you are not comfortable enough with your decisions to share them with your family then the decision was probably not a good one

Go ahead and get mad at these conclusions… I bet you can’t be any more upset than I currently am.