"Mr. TVHS", Scooters, and Helpful Laundry Tips

WARNING: THIS BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS EMBARASSING SITUATIONS, if you currently think the author of this blog is a nice person you should not continue reading!

Have you ever witnessed, been a part of (or heard about) a situation so awkward that you just have to cringe for the people involved? I have to admit I have been part of many of these situations. There are several instances that I can think of that even after years still make me cringe. Let me give you my two best examples and then I will explain what this has to do with anything. When I was in high school, my best friend and I liked the same boy (yes it is amazing that we were able to remain friends, and yes it is sad that we were just “that cool”). Anyway long story short, the three of us, plus some other friends, all had English together in the 10th grade. Our teacher basically hated us (I am not kidding) because we thought it was important to read the book instead of watching the movie, so we had that going against us. Well one day when we were watching a movie instead of reading the book my friend and I were passing notes (we weren’t learning anyway), she sat in front of me and “Mr. TVHS” sat in front of her. I will give you one guess what the note was about. Somehow she decided it was a great idea to give him the note (why?) anyway in an effort to get it back I reached forward, got my ankle caught between the desks, fell and then slid across the classroom. When the ordeal was over my arm was bleeding, my ankle hurt A LOT and the note was confiscated by the teacher who read it aloud to the entire class. Let’s just say the class reminded me of the incident until we graduated (just so you know the teacher wouldn’t let me get a band aid because I didn’t have a “real injury”). Anyway every time I think of that situation I remember what it was like to look up and think “they all saw that…”, let’s just say my secret was out and everyone knew I liked “ Mr. TVHS”. Okay next story, thank goodness this didn’t happen to me… one night my best friend (yes same one that gave Mr. TVHS the note) was on a date (with guess who), and her date really wanted to kiss her, instead of you know going for it like a normal person he asked her if she wanted to “try it”. She was speechless, before she could answer he kissed her, needless to say they didn’t “try it” again. We thought this was the funniest thing ever (okay well maybe it is dumb but we were 16)
Okay now you have some background information… I have seen, lived and heard awkward. Now that you know about that, let me tell you about one of the most awkward conversations I have witnessed. This is one that I just wanted to hug the kid and tell him to stop talking (I don’t like hugs so that should tell you a lot). Brian and I were peacefully eating our dinner at the Creamery on Ninth the other night when we witnessed this. This kid (I think he was about Brian’s age) went up to the people at the table next to us (it was an older couple and their freshman granddaughter) and proceeded to have an exceptionally loud conversation. At one point during the conversation he received a phone call (not that big of a deal), well he didn’t move away to take his call, in fact he stayed right there and proceeded to talk even louder. This is how he answered the phone in a female voice, “Hello, this is Neil ______’s secretary, let me put you through to Neil,” at this point he paused for about 10 seconds (I guess that is how long he thought it would take to transfer the call), after 10 seconds he said in a deep voice “This is Neil”. He then went on to talk to the caller about buying a scooter, this part didn’t really matter, well I guess it did confirm what I thought about scooters being lame (sorry if you have one but really a scooter?). Okay so he eventually hung up and I was happy for him. Sorry if you think I am mean but who acts like their own personal secretary? I am not sure how the caller held it together long enough to try to sell their scooter…. Finally after the phone call fiasco was over he went on to explain how to remove stains from clothing, a good thing to know but really why would tell people you barely know that if you are ever on a date and you spill on your tie you should “whip it off” and pour table salt on it. I know it is great to get good tips but I think there might be a better time for that. There was a lot more to the conversation than you just got to read about but I need to let you know how it ended. Eventually Neil thought it was time to get back to his grocery shopping and as he was leaving he turned to the girl gave her a thumbs up and told her that they would get together on Thursday because he had big plans for the fourth (Friday). As he was leaving the girl turned to her grandmother and said in a very Ebug tone of voice (sorry if you cant picture it) “So anyway”. Yes I know it is sad she didn’t want to go out with him, but really…