Dear...

Dear Random Tummy Toucher,

Why do you think it is appropriate to reach over and pat/poke/tap my stomach in the elevator/airport security line/cafeteria/grocery store? Do you think patting my tummy is going to result in a pillsbury doughboy reaction, good luck, or bring some joy to my day? Trust me when I say, you keeping your hands to yourself is appreciated and the best option. Feel free to comment on how round I am getting, how my due date must be fast approaching, or about how many children you have. I would love (well maybe not love) to hear about all of them, but please do not reach over for the tummy pat. I know that it is fun to feel the little guy kick, and yes if you poke him hard enough he will react (trust me his dad has already tried it), but please restrain yourself. Think of my tummy as a one of those zoo enclosures with the sign that says "do not tap the glass"- do not tap the tummy- look, dont touch. Dont try to wake the little guy up, rub my tummy for luck, or congratulate me by giving me a tummy pat- I dont like it, and if I could, I would have the little guy give you a hard kick in the palm.

Thanks a Bunch,
Peeved in Pittsburgh